What Am I Feeling?
by Battygirl
Summary: Asuka's thoughts and feelings after her love Duel with Manjome! AsukaManjome pairing! YAY Please review! Deletion canceled. Please read new chapter for details.
1. Chapter 1

**I was writing this late last night and it probably sux and is too forward, but I hope ya likes**

**Disclaimer: I Don't own anything!**

* * *

What Am I Feeling?

**(Asuka's POV)**

I lay my bed, thinking about that foolish duel I had recently had with Manjome and scowled. I hated him for such degradation! How dare he say and do such foolish things! Why would he so this! Though...after I'd defeated him...I could see pain replace hope in his eyes as I watched him cry a single tear. I thought for a moment about that...he was hurting after that duel because I wanted to merely win to show him that I had love only for the duel...I had lied...I had lied so I could get him to stop thinking such things so he'd stay outta my way when I went for Juudai...I was-no...I'm **in** love with him...I want to be with Juudai and I let that selfish love make Manjome-kun cry. I sat up...it was still daylight and I wanted to apologize...I wasn't gonna love him...for I didn't...but I would tell him I was sorry. I hadn't meant to make him cry or cause him that much pain.

After rowing to the mainland, I ran into Fubuki standing there and smiling. I walked up to him and smiled, but he didn't smile back...instead, his former smile, turned into a frown.

"What's wrong aniki?" I asked worriedly.

"Come on...let's take a walk", he replied taking my hand.

As we walked, his sadness became clear as he spoke.

"Do you have any idea how much you've hurt him?" he asked sadly.

"Who, Manjome-kun?" I asked a little surprised.

"Hai..."

"No...I don't..."

"He told me a little about himself before I persuaded him into that duel...by the way; don't be mad at him for it...Be mad at me..." he said when my eyebrows furrowed. "I just saw sadness when I looked at him when he spoke and I thought being with you like that would make him happy. Asuka...his brothers don't care about him, you know that. He's just been alone for a long time...I guess he thought you could probably take away his loneliness...I guess he was wrong..." he explained.

I stared down at his words...I hadn't thought of things that way...

"Why do you hate him?" he asked suddenly.

"I don't hate him!" I exclaimed.

"You sure hide that well", he said sarcastically.

I glared and turned away. He had no right asking such a question!

"Do you love Juudai?" he then asked, making me blush and smile.

"Hai..." I said smiling broadly.

"Does he love you?"

"Um...I don't know..."

"Better question; **would** he love you? After I've known him for this short time, all I've noticed him care about is dueling...if you told him you loved him, would he care? Would he tell you he loved you? Or would he rather duel?" he asked.

"Uh...erm..." I stuttered.

"Alright, that's it. I want you to go to Juudai and tell him and come to me with a reply. I'll be in Manjome's room trying to comfort him. When he rejects you, try not to cry too hard", he finished walking away.

I glared after him and followed him to the Osiris dorms. I walked up to Juudai's room and knocked. He opened it and I smiled as I blushed.

"Juudai, I have to know; I love you...do you love me too?" I said hopefully.

"Oh...uh...I'm...I'm sorry Asuka...I don't...I'm not really that into getting a romantic relationship with anyone yet. I'm sorry", he replied, as I felt my heart break.

"Its fine Juudai...Um...I have to go", I said running to Manjome's room and crying as I went to find Fubuki.

I knocked on the door and he answered it and I motioned for him to come out and he told Manjome to wait a moment.

"So? I was right wasn't I?" he asked, a huge smile on his face.

I cried and simply nodded.

"Do you understand now how you've made Manjome-chan feel? Juudai broke your heart and you've broken Manjome's", he explained. I sighed and walked past him and opened Jun's door and walked in, closing it behind me and staring at his sad face. I locked the door and walked over to him and sat down. I stared at him and he stared back, a slight glimmer of hope in his dark eyes. I wrapped my arms around him in hurt and he embraced me in return, crying against my shoulder as I cried on his.

"Juudai doesn't love you back does he?" he asked quietly.

My eyes widened.

"No...I'm sorry I hurt you before...but I still don't love you back either", I said pulling away and staring into his sad eyes.

We remained like that until he suddenly leaned forward and captured my lips with his. He made no further movement, probably to keep me from being frightened off, but I couldn't help but lean into his kiss. I hated to admit it, but he was such a great kisser! And to top that off, it was my first kiss and I loved it! I wondered if it would be this wonderful if I'd been with Juudai...though, my thoughts about him faded into Manjome again. When we finally pulled away again he looked away and blushed He then pulled away from me to stare down. He was crying! Why would he cry after that! I pondered this until I realized...that was probably the only thing he was going to get even remotely close to proving his love for me with for now on. I stared at him sadly. I'd caused him so much pain...I sat there and thought for a moment.

What am I feeling for him? Is it love? Pity? No...it was love...I knew this...I didn't know how I ever could possibly love him...or why...but I did. I loved him and I needed to let him know. I put my hands on his shoulders and turned him around to me and kissed him again, spilling my newfound love out for him.

.When I pulled away again I muttered quietly, with tears in my eyes, "I love you too Manjome-kun."

* * *

**A/N: I hope this was good! Please review me!**


	2. Please Read Me!

Dear readers/reviewers,

The real reason I'm posting this in every story I'm deleting is because, well I'm deleting them. I have lost complete interest in Yu-Gi-Oh GX--It's gotten SO retarded! It's lost the cuddly and chubby one...what was his name? English Dub it was Chumley or sommin' right? Whatever, anyway--now it's just got some loser dinosaur obsessed dude who's apparently gay for Jaden (Syrus is too cute and needs a brother-type figure for me to consider him gay for the stupid SOB) and I'll be deleting all stories I deem as either 'not well written' or just 'didn't much like it the first time around'. This _is_ one of those stories, but I'd like to pressure that _**I'm not doing this because of flames!!!!!**_ I couldn't care less about their meaningless lives and stupid flames…I really couldn't. However, I want to clean out my stories a little and this just happens to be one I don't want to have up anymore. For everyone who actually _liked_ this story, I apologize. I'm just done with it. Especially with those I have in the GX section. The only story I think I'll be keeping in the GX section is 'Why Can't You Love Me'. I don't completely hate that story.

Thank you for reading. Oh, and one final piece of business between me and any flamers who might be reading this; My teacher will not be reading and reviewing my stories. I am disabling the anonymous reviews. If you have something to say, you will have no choice but to leave a signed review or shove it up your ass and shut the fuck up. I will be giving these 'soon-to-be-deleted' stories until February 1st, at…I dunno...11:59 PM and then I will delete them how I see fit, with or without replies to this letter. If you're reading this and want me to leave it up, I will do so. But I'd need a fair amount protesting that I leave it up. Just so you're aware.

Yours,

Battygirl

P.S: Don't forget to leave a review on this one! XD


	3. Deletion results

Dear Readers, Reviewers, and Flamers,

I realize that this is after the deadline I meant to meet, but I didn't have a chance to log in or anything yesterday due to unforseen circumstances. I stand by what I said though. I haven't gotten any flames or wishes to delete my stories so I suppose I'll be leaving them up. If you really have a complaint. Just keep it to yourself. I won't be working more on these anyway so just shut up! If anyone wants to take over 'What do I want for Christmas?'be my guest. I don't really care anymore, just email me and lemme know okay? Later.

Yours,

Battygirl


End file.
